Start Your Day Right.

What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

Reach for the smartphone? I can't imagine any other device in history changing how we function, spend time, and relate to ourselves and others more than the smartphone.   

The word alarm is so appropriate, because it alarms us from the world of dreams and the unconscious, it always takes a few minutes to get fully back into our bodies. Some traditions teach that the soul travels between worlds when we sleep, and that the first words to break the silence each each morning should be... 

"Thank you for restoring my soul to me." 

This speaks to the fact that morning is a time when that gentle space between conscious and unconscious is thin and our minds are taking over.

Technology is 'in your face, demanding your thoughts and emotions meaning that the wonderful world of sleep and dreams is left far behind and forgotten. Then in that zombie like state we stagger into the routine that begins each day.

The harmony which we could have started the day with and continued to feel is left behind with the bed and that wonderful world we visited overnight. 

The way you begin your morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. this is not a war so we don't need to be on high alert and experiencing adrenaline which will keep us pumped for a while the let us down later in the day. We're on the alert for anything and everything. 

It's as if you had a young child who wanted to snuggle and share her dreams in the morning but you were constantly pushing her aside so that you could read your phone. Would the child feel loved and appreciated or rejected and cast aside? That's what we do on the inner level: When we fail to give ourselves attention by spending a few quiet minutes attending to our inner world upon awakening, we send ourselves the message that everything else and everyone else is more important.

As an experiment try turning off the alarm. You'll be amazed how you can actually wake at a chosen time, or close too it, without mechanical intervention. This allows your mind to gradually 'feel' it's way into a state of full wakefulness. Creating a gentle gap between the softness of sleep and the act of becoming a human 'doing.'

1. Practice mindfulness.

Even five minutes of mindfulness practice can set a calmer tone for your day. Mindfulness helps you come into the present moment and ground yourself to the here and now (here I am in space; right now in time). Cultivating that pause each morning will help you anchor back into it if the busyness reaches a crescendo as your day progresses.

2. Write down your dreams.

Dream-tending is an art and science that may sometimes require the guidance. In the old cultures dreams were interpreted by the Shaman with the purpose of understanding and healing. Writing down last night's dreams can help you preserve the valuable space of morning and fill yourself with spiritual energy. Allowing you in the future to relive those 'magic' moments. Even if you don't understand what your dreams are trying to communicate, remembering even one dream and thinking about it throughout the day helps maintain a a connection to yourself and will serve you well.

3. Journal.

Journaling is one of the most effective ways to know yourself and fill your inner well with self-love and self-knowledge. Effective jounaling ins liberating as it frees up the mind and allows greater reflection on our lives. ly. You should feel clearer and more grounded when you're done. It's a great way to start the day. Even just writing down a few simple sentences of what you appreciate can set a positive tone.

4. Practice simple yoga exercises.

Yoga is a mind/body practice that is done in a quiet place with time and space for reflection and reconnecting with your body. Preparing it too for the coming day of action.

5. Go outdoors and let the light and air fill your senses.

There's nothing like fresh air and sunshine to reconnect to you to your essential nature, which is good, loving, and worthy exactly as you are.

Into the open vessel of our morning-selves we can pour technology or we can choose actions that will fill the inner well with positive energy. Which do you choose?

Source: MindBodyGreen.

Considering Others

I was both amused and angered upon opening this email. Amused at the ignorance and naivety of the author and angered by the belligerence of insinuating that people were lying to him.

Here's what he wrote...

When someone says “I can’t afford it,”...

REMEMBER :  it’s never about their money situation!

It’s always about their level of Commitment.

You know this to be true in your own life... when you've absolutely NEEDED money for something... you came up with it.   

The same goes for your potential clients. 

When they're committed to experiencing the Transformation you've promised them... your fee becomes a non-issue...

... Especially when your potential client discovers that the cost of NOT working with you is GREATER than the cost of working with you... they will almost always say YES!

But... how do you get them to see that the cost of not working with you is greater than the cost of working with you?

... Especially if you don’t want to be pushy or overstep boundaries?

While the content may be true there are still the fundamental human needs like food and a roof over your head. When they are taken care of then we may consider moving to the next level or taking the next step.

As motivators, counsellors and educators we have an obligation to meet people where they're at and assist them to see the path that leads to better ways of being and living.

Well I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions on this, and finish by saying that people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

After all your life can be changed in an instant.

Time - performed by Sir Laurence Olivier

This is one of the most inspiring orations of the late 20th century. The words become a mantra, a meditation and philosophy for a better life.

Listen to Sir Laurence here.

Stand before me on the sign of infinity,

all you of the earth.

With the granting of the law of provination

comes the application of change.

I will give you the key.

And with this knowledge, please realise,

comes the responsibility of sharing it.

I will show you the way.

It's very simple. Throughout the universe

there is order.

In the movement of the planets, in nature

and in the functioning of the human mind.

A mind that is in its natural state of order,

is in harmony with the universe

and such a mind is timeless.

Your life is an expression of your mind.

You are the creator of your own Universe -

For as a human being, you are free to will whatever

state of being you desire through the use of your

thoughts and words.

There is great power there.

It can be a blessing or a curse -

It's entirely up to you.

For the quality of your life is brought about

by the quality of your thinking -

think about that.

Thoughts produce actions -

look at what you're thinking.

See the pettiness and the envy and the greed and the

fear and all the other attitudes that cause

you pain and discomfort.

Realize that the one thing you have absolute

control over is your attitude.

See the effect that it has on those around you.

For each life is linked to all life

and your words carry with them chain reactions

like a stone that is thrown into a pond.

If your thinking is in order,

your words will flow directly from the heart

creating ripples of love.

If you truly want to change your world, my friends,

you must change your thinking.

Reason is your greatest tool,

it creates an atmosphere of understanding,

which leads to caring which is love.

Choose your words with care.

Go forth ... with love.

Global Community

You Never Know

You never know what's happening in someones' life. Recently I was called to provide counsel to a single Mum.

Mothers carry the emotional burden for their childrens wellbeing.

Even working as a couple does not change this...

Every little bit of support provided acknowledges and validates a Mums role.

This post from Facebook helps to highlight the case in point.

What's $17.38 to You? 

To The Woman Behind Me In Line At The Grocer

Dear woman behind me in line at the grocery store,

You don't know me. You have no clue what my life has been like since October 1, 2013. You have no clue that my family has gone through the wringer. You have no clue that we have faced unbelievable hardship. You have no clue we have been humiliated, humbled, destitute.

You have no clue I have cried more days than not; that I fight against bitterness taking control of my heart. You have no clue that my husband's pride was shattered. You have no clue my kids have had the worries of an adult on their shoulders. You have no clue their innocence was snatched from them for no good reason. You know none of this.

What you do know is I tried to buy my kids some food and that the EBT machine was down so I couldn't buy that food. I didn't have any cash or my debit card with me. I only had my SNAP card. All you heard was me saying "No, don't hold it for me. My kids are hungry now and I have no other way of paying for this." You didn't judge me. You didn't snarl "Maybe you should have less kids." You didn't say "Well, get a job and learn to support yourself." You didn't look away in embarrassment or shame for me. You didn't make any assumptions at all.

What you did was you paid that $17.38 grocery bill for us. You gave my kids bananas, yogurt, apple juice, cheese sticks, and a peach ice tea for me; a rare treat and splurge. You let me hug you and promise through my tears that I WILL pay this forward. I WILL pay someone's grocery bill for them. That $17.38 may not have been a lot for you, but it was priceless to us. In the car my kids couldn't stop gushing about you; our "angel in disguise." They prayed for you. They prayed you would be blessed. You restored some of our lost faith. One simple and small action changed our lives. You probably have forgotten about us by now, but we haven't forgotten about you. You will forever be a part of us even though we don't even know your name.

You have no clue how grateful and embarrassed I am that we pay for all our food with SNAP. We eat well thanks to the government. I love that. I love that the government makes sure my kids are cared for. It is one less worry for us. I also struggle with pride and embarrassment. I defiantly tell people we are on SNAP. Daring them to judge us.

Only those closest to us know why we are on SNAP. They know my husband is a hard worker who was laid off after 17 years in a management position with his former company. They know we were moved from our home to a new state only to be left homeless since the house we had came with the job he lost. Only those closest to us know my husband works part time while looking tirelessly for more; that he has submitted more applications than he has received interviews for. Too many jobs are only offering part time work anymore. It is not easy for a 40-something year old to find a job that will support his family of five kids.

You know none of this but you didn't let that stop you from being compassionate and generous to someone you have never met.

To the woman behind me at the grocery store, you have no idea how much we appreciate you. You have no idea the impact you had on my kids. You have no idea how incredibly thankful I am for you. Your action may have been small, but to us it was monumental. Thank you.

Thank you for not judging us. Thank you for giving my kids a snack when they were quite hungry. Thank you. Just thank you.

Forever,

Andrea, the woman in front of you at the grocery store with the cart full of kids who are no longer hungry

New tomorrows

  It never ceases to amaze me how reactive and dissociative we've become as a society. People are funny, recent dealings with a couple of people would have been quite amusing had it not been for their strange behaviour.

    Observation is a powerful tool. Take for example one family. The mother is quite trim, but very obviously insecure and yet controlling (you could also read that as domineering). Needing to tell all in sundry of her exploits and achievements. Dad remains in the background without saying much and their daughter is as nervous as hell, despite being a mid thirties professional. 

    So what's going on here? A quick consult with a close friend who's had over thirty years as a counsellor and working with people says it's fairly typical of transference. Somewhere in the previous generation something conditioned the mother and a couple of her siblings to feel insecure and need to control everyone and everything around them. 

      The daughters build is very similar to one of her mothers siblings and this is where the amusing bit comes in. Mum had written a letter casting aspersions on her brother and saying that all his problems were of his own making. 

      Hmmmm...I wonder if she's looked at her daughter recently? 

       Or in the mirror for that matter.

      The other amusing part is the blame game. It's interesting that in casting unsubstantiated aspersions one must be prepared to face the music of having those aspersions blown apart by a clear rational response. Especially if it's being recorded and becomes a matter of public record.

     So what's the point of this little dissertation you may well ask?  Well it gets it off my chest and invites others to comment on the interaction.

      There's also the point that we need to surround ourselves with people who have some comprehension of our objectives and that we can relate to in a supportive way. 

       Not long ago a business colleague said, "what people think of me is none of my business," and I'd do well to take note of his wisdom.

       Another highly successful colleague and friend has said on more than a few occasions that we need to ensure that our energies are utilised in ways that progressively lead to success and peace of mind. 

         The great teacher and mentor Earl Nightingale defined success as 'the progressive realisation of a worthy goal or ideal.' 

        Author, teacher, entrepreneur Kathleen O'Dwyer makes the interesting statement that a problem isn't a problem if it can be fixed with money.

      The point I'm making here is that our focus, time and energy is best utilised in the pursuit of worthwhile goals and ideals that will lead to a much more peaceful and contented life.

           Grow to know and understand who you are and what you're really capable of. Surround yourself with a strong support network and learn to have faith.

           As Mark Twain observed, "show me what you want and I'll show you haw to get it." To which he then added, "but most people don't know what they really want."

     Do You?

Humanity

It would seem that humanity prevails, in watching the talent shows a noticeable change is happening between the judges and the contestants.  The judges are allowing their feelings and to be apparent to both the television audience and the contestants. 

In the early days of these type of shows what could only be described as blatant bravado and bullying by the judging panel was not unusual, now we are seeing a new face. One of care, compassion and genuine encouragement.

It's gratifying when a judge can leave her seat and console a distraught contestant who has just overcome so much and given a stunning performance.

More than that is the edification and open acknowledgement of both the brilliance of the performance and the humanity of the performer. Even Simon Cowell has in the last three years become a very different person.

The examples now being set by the likes of X-factor and 'Whoever's Got Talent' is inspiring.

Perhaps this is the evolution of a world that had been jaded by materialism and is at last becoming a mature civilisation.

We still have a long way to go, while there is still famine and severe privation among so many, perhaps these small steps in the 'decadent' western world will see more being done to make all of us equal, while respecting and acknowledging our unique gifts and talents.

As happens in this video.