New tomorrows

  It never ceases to amaze me how reactive and dissociative we've become as a society. People are funny, recent dealings with a couple of people would have been quite amusing had it not been for their strange behaviour.

    Observation is a powerful tool. Take for example one family. The mother is quite trim, but very obviously insecure and yet controlling (you could also read that as domineering). Needing to tell all in sundry of her exploits and achievements. Dad remains in the background without saying much and their daughter is as nervous as hell, despite being a mid thirties professional. 

    So what's going on here? A quick consult with a close friend who's had over thirty years as a counsellor and working with people says it's fairly typical of transference. Somewhere in the previous generation something conditioned the mother and a couple of her siblings to feel insecure and need to control everyone and everything around them. 

      The daughters build is very similar to one of her mothers siblings and this is where the amusing bit comes in. Mum had written a letter casting aspersions on her brother and saying that all his problems were of his own making. 

      Hmmmm...I wonder if she's looked at her daughter recently? 

       Or in the mirror for that matter.

      The other amusing part is the blame game. It's interesting that in casting unsubstantiated aspersions one must be prepared to face the music of having those aspersions blown apart by a clear rational response. Especially if it's being recorded and becomes a matter of public record.

     So what's the point of this little dissertation you may well ask?  Well it gets it off my chest and invites others to comment on the interaction.

      There's also the point that we need to surround ourselves with people who have some comprehension of our objectives and that we can relate to in a supportive way. 

       Not long ago a business colleague said, "what people think of me is none of my business," and I'd do well to take note of his wisdom.

       Another highly successful colleague and friend has said on more than a few occasions that we need to ensure that our energies are utilised in ways that progressively lead to success and peace of mind. 

         The great teacher and mentor Earl Nightingale defined success as 'the progressive realisation of a worthy goal or ideal.' 

        Author, teacher, entrepreneur Kathleen O'Dwyer makes the interesting statement that a problem isn't a problem if it can be fixed with money.

      The point I'm making here is that our focus, time and energy is best utilised in the pursuit of worthwhile goals and ideals that will lead to a much more peaceful and contented life.

           Grow to know and understand who you are and what you're really capable of. Surround yourself with a strong support network and learn to have faith.

           As Mark Twain observed, "show me what you want and I'll show you haw to get it." To which he then added, "but most people don't know what they really want."

     Do You?