New tomorrows

  It never ceases to amaze me how reactive and dissociative we've become as a society. People are funny, recent dealings with a couple of people would have been quite amusing had it not been for their strange behaviour.

    Observation is a powerful tool. Take for example one family. The mother is quite trim, but very obviously insecure and yet controlling (you could also read that as domineering). Needing to tell all in sundry of her exploits and achievements. Dad remains in the background without saying much and their daughter is as nervous as hell, despite being a mid thirties professional. 

    So what's going on here? A quick consult with a close friend who's had over thirty years as a counsellor and working with people says it's fairly typical of transference. Somewhere in the previous generation something conditioned the mother and a couple of her siblings to feel insecure and need to control everyone and everything around them. 

      The daughters build is very similar to one of her mothers siblings and this is where the amusing bit comes in. Mum had written a letter casting aspersions on her brother and saying that all his problems were of his own making. 

      Hmmmm...I wonder if she's looked at her daughter recently? 

       Or in the mirror for that matter.

      The other amusing part is the blame game. It's interesting that in casting unsubstantiated aspersions one must be prepared to face the music of having those aspersions blown apart by a clear rational response. Especially if it's being recorded and becomes a matter of public record.

     So what's the point of this little dissertation you may well ask?  Well it gets it off my chest and invites others to comment on the interaction.

      There's also the point that we need to surround ourselves with people who have some comprehension of our objectives and that we can relate to in a supportive way. 

       Not long ago a business colleague said, "what people think of me is none of my business," and I'd do well to take note of his wisdom.

       Another highly successful colleague and friend has said on more than a few occasions that we need to ensure that our energies are utilised in ways that progressively lead to success and peace of mind. 

         The great teacher and mentor Earl Nightingale defined success as 'the progressive realisation of a worthy goal or ideal.' 

        Author, teacher, entrepreneur Kathleen O'Dwyer makes the interesting statement that a problem isn't a problem if it can be fixed with money.

      The point I'm making here is that our focus, time and energy is best utilised in the pursuit of worthwhile goals and ideals that will lead to a much more peaceful and contented life.

           Grow to know and understand who you are and what you're really capable of. Surround yourself with a strong support network and learn to have faith.

           As Mark Twain observed, "show me what you want and I'll show you haw to get it." To which he then added, "but most people don't know what they really want."

     Do You?

Humanity

It would seem that humanity prevails, in watching the talent shows a noticeable change is happening between the judges and the contestants.  The judges are allowing their feelings and to be apparent to both the television audience and the contestants. 

In the early days of these type of shows what could only be described as blatant bravado and bullying by the judging panel was not unusual, now we are seeing a new face. One of care, compassion and genuine encouragement.

It's gratifying when a judge can leave her seat and console a distraught contestant who has just overcome so much and given a stunning performance.

More than that is the edification and open acknowledgement of both the brilliance of the performance and the humanity of the performer. Even Simon Cowell has in the last three years become a very different person.

The examples now being set by the likes of X-factor and 'Whoever's Got Talent' is inspiring.

Perhaps this is the evolution of a world that had been jaded by materialism and is at last becoming a mature civilisation.

We still have a long way to go, while there is still famine and severe privation among so many, perhaps these small steps in the 'decadent' western world will see more being done to make all of us equal, while respecting and acknowledging our unique gifts and talents.

As happens in this video.

Inspiration

There's a great little book called You Squared that focusses on achieving amazing change in a very short space of time. This point is brought home with the amazing duo of  Charlotte Jaconelli and Jonathan Antoine in Britains' Got Talent. 

From their raw audition performance to the stunning final is nothing short of breathtaking. In seven short weeks to see the growth in confidence, stature and strength of friendship impressed even hardened judges on the show. Then to have their critics silenced by not only their performance but integrity and loyalty demonstrates a refreshing strength of character that is largely missing in the world today.

Watch the video of the final and see the intuitive glance between them at a high point of the performance. Then see the smile of two people demonstrating complete trust in one another and celebrating doing something together they both enjoy doing together.

Watching their performance a few times never ceases to be an inspiration as to what can be achieved with will, passion and support and while your dreams and aspirations may not run to singing opera on national television, they can none the less come to fruition in a very short time.

Never lose sight of your dream and never stop going for the goal. you'll be amazed at how suddenly 'overnight success' may come.

New Beginnings

It's the journey and not the destination that counts, it's the quality of life more than anything else that enhances our ability to ultimately achieve. It's not what happens to you, but you do with what happens to you that counts. It's learning from what happens and using the lesson to get to finally achieve the ultimate outcome.

Here's a simple example.

I was already running late, the trains were out and the traffic horrendous. Caught up in heavy traffic though I caught sight of  a few Autumn leaves dancing down the nature strip. At the next intersection the sunlight was filtering through native conifers. This was followed by lunch at a friends cafe with good company, later I sat and watched the noonday sunlight dancing on the Indian Ocean then reminisced on life with another friend. An inspiring and peaceful day in paradise. 

Are you living in the moment?

When the Moment.

When the moment comes, and you will know, allow your thoughts and being to be swept up by the tide. Allow your spirit to soar.

TOLERANCE

      What are we really afraid of? There are so many hate and scare tactic emails today that one has to wonder if the next war will be fought in cyberspace.

      It's worth revisiting some of the great, compassionate minds of the past. Like the 26th U.S. President, Theodore Roosevelt when he delivered this speech. 

     "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

 Theodore Roosevelt  (American 26th US President (1901-09), 1858-1919)

      Simply by studying these great men and women we can take from their example things that help us improve our thinking and the way we relate to the world.

     It may take some time to grasp and comprehend the significance of their words, or even begin to see how we can better our lives by applying the philosophy behind them.

     In the words of the famous basketball coach and author, John Wooden, "Five years from now, you’re the same person except for the people you’ve met and the books you’ve read." is a reflection of our capacity to change and understand others.

        When first starting down that 'Road Less Travelled' (the first book by Dr. M. Scott Peck) existing ways of being, doing and relating will be challenged. Time however has a way of assisting in the process. Tolerance of our old ways will gradually bring about changes that lead to a much higher consciousness and with that comes a shift in conscience. 

        The attitude of drifting through life becomes less and less tolerable and as conscious awareness grows much more is revealed. This is where the line in the sand is drawn. Just as the the expression "thoughts become things" says it is our thoughts that create our reality.

      John White, author, singer/songwriter and a man of many other talents expresses in his work "No Bars Hold', the many things that hold us prisoner. Later he adds the encouragement that "you can be free right where you are.."! It is simply a choice.  

       As the great prayer for Serenity asks of God.

     "Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change those I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

       In seeing others and ourselves I'm reminded of the the words of one of the greatest men of the nineteenth century, the 16th President of the United States Abraham Lincoln, when he said "I don't like that man. I must get to know him better."

       Our thoughts and words create not only our own reality, but also the reality of others. Lincoln,obviously thought very deeply before speaking then did so with an economy of words.  His humility and vision is summed up very well in this quote.

      "I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be." 

      I hope that your experience is one of seeing and growing, the best way to see further is after all by standing on the shoulders of giants.

           

COMMITMENT

Time has proven this to be one of the most providential statements in business life.

Until one is COMMITTED there is hesitancy,

the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

 Concerning all acts of initiative there is one

elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills

countless ideas and splendid plans;

 That the moment one definitely commits oneself,

 then Providence moves too.

 All sorts of things occur to help one 

that would otherwise never have occurred.

 A whole stream of events issues from the decision, 

raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents 

and meetings and material assistance, 

which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

William N. Murray